Failing better since '85

  1. 19 May


    missdecemberbliss: YES! There are few things in life more horrible than the realisation that someone is only your ‘friend’ because they want something else or something more. THIS!

    missdecemberbliss:

    YES! There are few things in life more horrible than the realisation that someone is only your ‘friend’ because they want something else or something more.

    THIS!

    (Source: taymurmaider)

     

  2. 28 Apr



    [TW: rape]
    First you’re taught to fear a phantom, a man in black, a man with a knife, a man who’ll pounce in dark alleys. Well-intentioned women—mothers, aunts, teachers—will train you to protect yourself: Don’t wear your hair in a ponytail; it’s easier to grab. Hold your keys in one hand; hold your pepper spray in the other. Avoid dark alleys. When you reach young adulthood, the lessons change. They acquire an undertone of disgust: Don’t drink so much. Don’t wear such short skirts. You’re sending mixed signals; you’re putting yourself at risk. If you follow the advice and it never happens—if you end up one of the three out of four—you can convince yourself that safety is a product of your own making, a reflection of inherent goodness. But if you’re paying attention, you realize something doesn’t add up. Because it keeps happening: to your sisters; to your friends; to little girls and grown women you’ll never meet, in places like Cleveland, Texas; Steubenville, Ohio; New Delhi. Good people, bad people, neutral. It keeps happening in TV shows and novels and movies—they open on the missing girl, the dead girl, the raped girl. If you’re paying attention, you begin to realize that it isn’t happening. It is being done. And you are not safe. You have never been safe. You were born with a bulls-eye on your back. All you have ever been is lucky.
    — The Female Gaze: SO MUCH PRETTY by Cara Hoffman - review Cara Hoffman’s really amazing, really important novel So Much Pretty at The Female Gaze this month.  (via sssssophie)

    (via areyouoverityet)

     

  3. 28 Apr


    femfreq:

    bombsfall:

    A quick editorial cartoon about the intersection of self-pity, entitlement, rape, territoriality, misogyny and fear of women. You see it all over the place online in the form of Men’s Rights Activists (of whom there are a few reasonable non-misogynists), Men Going Their Own Way, Pick Up Artists, and dudes touting the “Red Pill”, because The Matrix is a good movie. Look any of these up if you have the stomach for it. These are extreme examples, but watered-down forms of these ideas are everywhere.

    In lurking their blogs and youtube channels for a while, I’ve noticed that beyond the standard patriarchal chauvinism there is this deep fear of women - what they will do to me, how they will reject me, how they will use me, how they are changing society in a way that does not favor me, how they are making men into something I don’t like, how they are making themselves into something I don’t like, that they won’t give me what I want, and that they won’t give me what I think is rightfully mine. This goes beyond fear of feminism- this is fear of women at its purest. And that, to quote a puppet, leads to anger and hate. It’s sad.

    I am a feminist. I think there’s enough ice cream to go around, but it does mean those of us with 3 scoops might have to give one or two up. Also, The Matrix is a fun movie but probably not anything you should be basing a philosophy on.

    Check out this amazing and hilarious short animation about ice cream and male entitlement called “But I’m a Nice Guy” by Scott Benson. Also be sure to check out his other beautiful work in his demo reel.

    (via alanralph)

     

  4. 29 Mar


    #LastFrys: “Eve’s Mouth” (that I’d succinctly describe as feminism meets fables and historical figures) was the first thing I heard from Alix Olson. It was love at first minute. This is one of her musical performances. In others you can hear more instruments, and in some others you can only listen to her voice, which I find very appealing, by the way. Here’s a playlist I found on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar5oT8JhtOo&feature=share&list=PL7F23BAF2CB88C8BB

     

  5. 24 Mar


    su-b-a-r-b-i-e-a:

    knotted-ropes-suicide-notes:

    restoremyfateinthese:

    How to handle a drunk girl passed out on your couch.

    It’s really that simple.

    Perfect.

    YES. YES. FUCKING YES.

    Can this be an advert please? More people need to see this.

    Now this should be in whatever Bro Code there’s around.

    (Source: wholove, via veritardis)

     

  6. 23 Mar


    laurenzuni:

    At every college show lately, I’ve been asking for a show of hands from women who “consider themselves feminists” I also ask who calls themselves “womanists” or even just “pro-women.” You would be amazed at how few are feminists (only 5 out of 45 tonight) and how few are reluctant to even call themselves “in favor of women.” I wanted to scream this poem at them.  Also, I had to watch this to remember how fun it was to perform this important piece with my bestie. MINDY NETTIFEE IS THE TRUTH YA’LL. We need to spread the gospel.

    THIS is the poem I was looking for!

     

  7. 20 Mar


    You don’t need to read feminist theory in order to be a feminist. With that in mind, here’s my favorite poem about “uneducation”: http://youtu.be/bGCXJqn6DRg by Lauren Zuniga. ;)

    You don’t need to read feminist theory in order to be a feminist. With that in mind, here’s my favorite poem about “uneducation”: http://youtu.be/bGCXJqn6DRg by Lauren Zuniga. ;)

    (Source: philosophershaming)

     

  8. 14 Jan


    redefiningbodyimage: thetwitchysydrichi: redefiningbodyimage: tw: fat phobic, healthist ignorance jstanthrgirl: thelingerieaddict: redefiningbodyimage: It’s been a while. I’ve been hearing this a lot lately. This is what I think about it. There are no if’s, and’s, or BUT’s when it comes to body positivity. ALL bodies are good bodies. Basically. This is not true, at all. People who think that just can’t face the truth of the situation. It doesn’t matter if you’re overweight or super slim, if you’re unhealthy your body isn’t perfect. There are people who are slim just from smoking and abusing their metabolism, thats not a good body. There are people who are overweight and huge from doing the exact same thing, also not a good or positive body. Not ALL bodies are perfect OR acceptable. Its just the truth. People who advocate this ‘body positivity’ need to realise that in order to really have a positive body image you need to be HEALTHY, no matter your shape or size. If you smoke, drink, overeat or under-eat, I still believe you need to be respected. There is still no need for shaming. SUPPORT is what you need to get better, NOT SHAMING. Exactly. And “in order to have a positive body image, you need to be HEALTHY”? Sry but I’m a mentally ill chronically skin-fucked anxiety-ridden chain-smoking fat bitch. I have every right to claim positivity and own my body if I damn well please. My level of health does not determine my worth, nor does my size. - Haley “if you’re unhealthy your body isn’t perfect”   DAFUQ did I just read? No. If you’re unhealthy then you are not healthy. Your body, beauty-wise, still is what it is, regardless. Health does not necessarily affect beauty. Nor does beauty mean perfection. Nor does health mean perfection. TL;DR: FUCK PERFECTION!

    redefiningbodyimage:

    thetwitchysydrichi:

    redefiningbodyimage:

    tw: fat phobic, healthist ignorance

    jstanthrgirl:

    thelingerieaddict:

    redefiningbodyimage:

    It’s been a while.

    I’ve been hearing this a lot lately. This is what I think about it.

    There are no if’s, and’s, or BUT’s when it comes to body positivity.

    ALL bodies are good bodies.

    image

    Basically.

    This is not true, at all. People who think that just can’t face the truth of the situation. It doesn’t matter if you’re overweight or super slim, if you’re unhealthy your body isn’t perfect. There are people who are slim just from smoking and abusing their metabolism, thats not a good body. There are people who are overweight and huge from doing the exact same thing, also not a good or positive body. Not ALL bodies are perfect OR acceptable. Its just the truth. People who advocate this ‘body positivity’ need to realise that in order to really have a positive body image you need to be HEALTHY, no matter your shape or size.

    image

    If you smoke, drink, overeat or under-eat, I still believe you need to be respected. There is still no need for shaming. SUPPORT is what you need to get better, NOT SHAMING.

    Exactly. And “in order to have a positive body image, you need to be HEALTHY”?

    Sry but I’m a mentally ill chronically skin-fucked anxiety-ridden chain-smoking fat bitch.

    I have every right to claim positivity and own my body if I damn well please. My level of health does not determine my worth, nor does my size.

    - Haley

    “if you’re unhealthy your body isn’t perfect”

     

    DAFUQ did I just read?

    No.

    If you’re unhealthy then you are not healthy. Your body, beauty-wise, still is what it is, regardless. Health does not necessarily affect beauty. Nor does beauty mean perfection. Nor does health mean perfection.

    TL;DR: FUCK PERFECTION!

    (via meinherzsprichtstaub)

     

  9. 10 Jan


    fuckyeahwomenprotesting2:

    thedaydreamarchitect:

    I thought I’d share these ads with you because I think they represent an important milestone in fat acceptance. I’ve seen books, movies, TV shows, songs, and artworks with the message that big is beautiful. But this may be the first advertisement I’ve seen that portrays fat as a positive. Weight loss program ads barrage their audience with the message that they are ugly and undesirable, and must buy the product advertised if they ever want to be loved (or love themselves). In order to play up the sex appeal of other products, advertisers choose impossibly thin or built models. Even McDonald’s chooses thin people to populate their advertisements. But here’s the Donut Co., proudly displaying the most noticeable features of a fat man and associating them with its donuts, as if to say, “Yes, our food makes you fat, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Eat up and fuck the haters.”

    I kind’ve dig this. What do ya’ll think?

    This is awesome!

    (Source: thisisahostagesituation, via meinherzsprichtstaub)

     

  10. 9 Dec



    Things I have dreamed - Part II

    Today I dreamt I was in a comic-con (hey, a girl can dream, right?) and that someone shouted at me, while I was on stage giving a talk:

    - “Your cosplay sucks, go back to the kitchen!”

     To which I replied:

    - “a) I’m not cosplaying. I’m just wearing a bowtie because bowties are cool;  b) a cosplay doesn’t suck, ever, because it’s all about having fun… unless, of course, you’re cosplaying as a porn star :B and c) you’re doing just fine on your own in that kitchen, mister; YOU bring me a SAMICH, now! Kthxbai!”.

    NOW!

    And although I’m Portuguese, this all happened in English because in my dream I was in a comic-con in the U.S.A.. xD

    —

    You can read about other dreams of mine at: http://eloisavaldes.com/post/22596131232/things-i-have-dreamed-part-i

     

  11. 3 Dec



    laurenzuni:

    Dear Lauren: I recently had a discussion about body image with a cis straight, white man. The conversation itself was very triggering for me, as I have always struggled with loving my body and had a mild eating disorder for two years. Throughout the conversation, I attempted to show him that our experiences were different, but his rebuttal was, “it’s not fair that positive body image efforts focus only on women.” I just don’t know how to communicate my struggle to him without him assuming I am denying his.

    Dear Anon: I was just having a conversation with my friend Abbie while walking home from the grocery store about unpacking privilege. Abbie said her teacher explained to a guy in her class that while it is indeed “hard to be a man”, with all the society’s pressures on men to be tough and so on, that is not “sexism.” That is just “things that are hard about being a man.” The truth is oppression sucks for everyone. I want to say things about corsets and feet binding and diet pills not being “fair” but I think when you are talking to someone that can’t see their own privilege, the thing that is most important is to show empathy and ask questions, like you already said “how do I communicate my struggle without you feeling like I am denying yours?” It is gift to listen to each other. Everyone’s suffering is valid. As we evolve into a more conscious, less oppressive society, learning to listen to each other will be the best skill we learn.
    PS. Star Lamp, I want to make a quick comment on something I noticed in your language: “mild eating disorder” makes me think of the way we often trivialize our own experience. I’ve noticed I used to do this when talking about my experience with sexual assault. “Oh, I was just kind of raped. It wasn’t legitimate or anything.” I have to check myself constantly for how often I belittle my own pain. I just want you to know that I know what it’s like to live in quiet suffering. I am in recovery from bulimia but never told a soul as I was working through it. Even now, I shock myself when I say it out loud. I have the constant awareness that I could re-lapse at any moment. I just want you to know that I hear you. There is nothing mild about your pain. Nothing mild about your fierce commitment to loving yourself.

    {People keep asking me to making rebloggable versions of Ask responses. I am trying this out to see if it works.}

    It works! :D Thank you!

    I think this is important and that some of my followers may like reading it. I certainly did. ^^

    P.S.: I “bolded” the bits that spoke more to me.

     

  12. 29 Nov


    laurenzuni:

    Confessions of an Uneducated Queer- first draft, from the show I did at the Vancouver Poetry Slam. It is super rough but you know, that is sort of the point.

    Shit. Lauren, I never thought you’d make me cry.

     

  13. 28 Nov


    I found Maggie Estep’s “Fuck Me” when I was searching for spoken word videos to show a friend of mine. It left a good impression on me so here I am, months later, sharing it with you.

     <rant>

    Sadly, since she uses the word “Fuck” a lot youtube has considered this to be age restricted so you’ll need to login with your gmail in order to listen to it. I think. *sigh*

    We find a lot of non-age-restricted videos with the word fuck in it. Why was her video targeted for the restriction while thousands of others, a lot of them male rappers (gotta love the irony, here - which you’ll only get after listening to the video with attention, btw), weren’t? Double-standards, much?

    D: Why, Youtube, why?</rant> 

     

  14. 17 Nov



    Baise-moi, 2000 - my review at Letterboxd

     

  15. 11 Sep


    Estado de Excepção: CITAC, 2007. 

    Estado de Excepção: CITAC, 2007.